


Growing Up Zosan

by BrainDeadMaggot



Category: One Piece
Genre: Childhood Friends, Gen, M/M, Underage Kissing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-13
Updated: 2014-06-09
Packaged: 2018-01-15 14:15:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1307806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrainDeadMaggot/pseuds/BrainDeadMaggot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sequel to a sequel of sorts. Props to BecauseThereIsOnePiece and hesmus. A short series of somewhat short chapters. Modern Universe/1990's. Sanji and Zoro are childhood friends and spend every waking minute together. This summary sucks. Rated T for language.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Keeping Warm

13/03/2014  
  
Hey y'all! (I'm from the south, lemme 'lone) Came up with the last night. This is my second written fic of my eleven in queue. So many ideas, so little time. Think of this as a sequel to a sequel of sorts. I guess this could be standalone but much love if you hop over to FanFiction and read Elementary School Woes by BecauseThereIsOnePiece (/s/10107051/) and Playground Love by hesmus (/s/10147456/) first. To get a good grip on the timeline, ESW was in February of their 4th year in grade school, making Zoro 9 years old and Sanji 8 (roughly). Hesmus didn't specify but I like to think PgL was during the summer of the same year. The following are events that occur after. This is set in the 90's, my era in a way.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own anything. Nobody does. We're all just victims of the system. I throw it on the ground. :P

 **Warning:** Rated T for language. Is this considered fluff? Yeah, let's go with that.

This ended up being a lot longer than I initially expected. Hope you all enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter 1 - Keeping Warm**

Snow fell heavily from the sky, the sun hidden behind the thick pillowing clouds above. A small bundle wrapped in heavy yellow and blue trudged through the icy white sea, soft frost clinging to the long blonde fringe covering his face. He stepped up from the curb and marched his way across the yard and up to the front porch. As he shook the slush from his boot, gripping at the handrail so he wouldn't fall, a rustle from the bush beside him caught his attention, but before he could react a giant mass of black and green flew out of the snow bank and with a grizzly roar, landed on top of him.

_"SHARK ATTACK! RAWR!"_

Sanji yelped out in surprise, but quickly recovered when the green haired boy wrapped his arms around him and nuzzled into his wool wrapped neck.

"You jerk." Sanji berated, tone sounding more affectionate than angry, and shoved a handful of snow into Zoro's collar. "Give me a god damn heart attack, will ya."

"Sorry, Curly." Zoro smiled, extending out a hand and helping Sanji to his feet. He brushed the bangs from the right side of his friend's face, tucking it into his blue cap to stay in place, revealing a cobalt blue eye that shined happily at him. "What the fuck? That is the _ugliest_ sweater I have ever seen."

Sanji looked down at his bright yellow sweater and frowned. "Hey! My Aunt Kokoro gave this to me, jackass! It's way better than that nasty thing you're wearing." He yelled in defense as he gestured to the oversized fur lined leather military coat Zoro found at the thrift store. So okay, the sweater was a bit obnoxious, and sure it itched, but his Aunt Kokoro had spent a long time knitting it (a really long time, considering how drunk she always was) and had mailed it all the way from Iceland where she and her brother, Tom owned a fishing boat. He loved it nonetheless (okay, maybe not), but he had promise he would wear it til it fell apart. And knowing how he and Zoro _'played'_ , he hoped it would be sooner than later.

"What?! This jacket is awesome." His faux frown turned into a bright grin and grabbed onto Sanji's hand, pulling him to the center of the yard. "Hey, you wanna build a snowman?"

"With you? No way! I'll build my own snowman, and it'll be better than any ugly blob you pile up." Sanji fake scoffed, not minding their hands still joined together and playfully stuck his tongue out at the green haired boy who promptly poked it with his gloved finger, the snow freezing them together, much to the blonde's disgust.

~GUZS~

After a fierce snowball fight that included way too many fists and feet, and seeing who could make the biggest snow angel (neither of them winning as they both ended up with alien snow circles), they finally got around to building their snowmen, digging through shrubs and around the trees in the yard looking for decorations.

"Okay! Finished!" Zoro called over his shoulder. Sanji turned around to see a large snow ball with a pine cone stick out from the side, a curly twig above a grey rock and one of Zoro's tan gloves next to it atop an even larger egg shaped snow boulder, 6 rocks arranged across what could only be the belly. It looked strangely familiar and Sanji was not pleased.

"Oi, asshole." Sanji walked over to the older boy with a scowl and jerked his head at the _'snowman'_. "The hell is this?"

"What does it look like, retard? It's you. As a duck!" Zoro stated with a beaming smile, highly proud of his work. "Looks just like you, Shit-Cook."

"Fuck you, Marimo!" Sanji screamed. "And don't you dare insult my cooking!" Though they were just kids, Zoro being 10 years old and him 9, they cursed like sailors and didn't give two flying fucks if anyone heard them. Well, except maybe their dads, but it was Sanji's adoptive father's fault anyway. Zeff would let them loiter around the kitchen of his restaurant, and watch the chefs fight and bitch at each other. How could two growing boys not pick up on such fascinating language? Though the punishments sucked (having to clean Koshiro's, Zoro's adoptive father, dojo by hand, or a swift kick from Zeff's peg leg), it was well worth it, and they weren't going to stop swearing any time soon.

"Yes it does!" Zoro argued. "It's stupid and ugly. Just. Like. _You_. And this hideous sweater." Emphasizing each word with a finger prodding the young chef's yellow clad chest, earning him a spinning kick to his own that sent him toppling backwards and crashing into his creation, reducing it to icy dust.

"Ducks are _not_ stupid, you mossy bastard! They're beautiful and graceful and taste delicious." Sanji picked up the remains of the snowduck and dropped it on the idiot below, clapping his snow caked gloves to let the flakes rain over Zoro's face for good measure. "And I'm _not_ ugly, shit face."

Coughing as he tried to stand Zoro scrubbed the snow out of his hair and grimaced. "That's so like you to eat your favorite animal."

"Like you didn't enjoy the shark fin the old fart made last month?"

Zoro sighed, a look of longing settling on his face. "That was the best soup I ever had in my life." Sanji smiled. Zoro had really enjoyed his birthday dinner. "Alright, Curly-brow. Show me what you made."

"Okay, okay. C'mon." Sanji placed his hands over Zoro's eyes and led him through the snow. "Feast your eyes on a sight that will amaze all ages!"

"What is this, the circus?"

"Shaddap. Behold!" Sanji shot his arms in the air and presented his masterpiece to his friend. "I call it _'A Beautiful Mind'_."

Zoro stared confused at the 'masterpiece' before him. It was tall. It was skinny. It had leaves from a nearby red cedar tree arranged on top. It had one of the square stepping stones from Zoro's walkway shoved into its middle. Brusquely turning and staring at the black hole in front of his house he yelled out at the blonde. "What the fuck, Eyebrows! Don't go tearing up my lawn!"

"Yeah, yeah. I'll put it back. Don't get your panties in a twist." Sanji waved his hand, lazily putting an end to the argument and looked at the irritated Zoro expectantly. "Well? It's clear that I win."

"Please, that thing is horrible." Zoro laughs. "What is it anyway?"

"What?! Are you blind?! It's Miss Nico, obviously!"

"Miss Nico? _Robin Nico?_ The school librarian? Are you shitting me?! You dug up the walkway for _that_?!" Zoro shot a hand out at the 'book' holding snow woman, staring dumbfounded at the other boy. He should have known the love struck retard would do something like this. Sanji had been swooning over her since the first time she came to the school and took over for story time. Sanji merely nodded his head and looked at him like the situation was as dire as pulling fresh socks out of the dryer. "First of all, it looks _nothing_ like Miss Nico. It looks like a _grotesque dildo_. Second, you're dead." And with that Zoro pounced at Sanji, knocking them both into a deep snow bank.

~GUZS~

Silence filled the air and everything stilled. Even the snow stopped falling. Everything was still and quiet. No birds could be heard, the squirrels had taken shelter in their dreys. A sudden scream echoed across the land, followed by jovial laughter and both boys shot out of the snow from the other side of the yard, wide smiles practically splitting their faces in half.

Sanji jumped onto Zoro, knocking them both back under and piled snow onto his face. He laughed til he chest ached and throat burned and looked down at his still buried companion. "Marimo?" No answer came. "Oi dumbass, get up." Silence still. Slightly worried, Sanji brushed the snow off of Zoro's face to find a pale grey face, eyes wide and mouth slack. Frost clung to his dark green eyebrows and lashes. In a fright, Sanji grabbed the boy's shoulders and shook him hard. "Zoro! Wake up! Oh my God! ZORO!" Fighting back the tears, he leaned back on his heels from where he sat straddling Zoro's hips and squeezed his eyes shut. "Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no. Zoro…" He heard a crunch of snow and suddenly had a lap full of giggling green grass.

"Gotcha, Curly." Zoro chirped, face nuzzling into Sanji's neck, arms wrapped tightly around his waist.

"You dick! I thought y-. _Fuck you_!" He whomped Zoro on the head with his fist and pushed him off, crossing his arms over his small chest with a pout. "I'm cold. Go make me some tea."

"Hai hai." Zoro sing songed in Japanese (he had been studying really hard to learn the language, but could only seem to remember "useful" words like hai, dame, kuso, jama and doke) as he stood and dusted himself off before taking Sanji's hand and pulling him to his feet.

"How did you make the snow so deep? Felt like we could dig for miles." Sanji pointed at the waist deep snow that blanketed Zoro's property. The other houses only had a few inches covering their lawns.

"I asked the snow plow man to pile all the snow onto our yard. He wouldn't do it at first until Sensei came out and told him it was okay as long as I shoveled the driveway til spring. I don't really mind, it's good for my training." Zoro slipped his hand into Sanji's and led him to the door. "Hey, I also got Swiss Miss, we can put Lucky Charm marshmallows in it, if you want."

"REALLY?!" Sanji exclaimed. Eyes went wide and mouth dropped open before he quickly steeled himself and cleared his throat, smoothly changing his tone to calm and indifferent. "I mean, really? That's even better." He gripped tighter to Zoro's hand and pulled him inside the house, excited he can get another chance to eat junk food.

~GUZS~

The two boys sat on Zoro's couch wearing clean clothes (Sanji wearing his blue wave print hoodie he left the last time he spent the night) while their wet ones tumbled in the dryer, drinking the store bought powdered chocolate drink Zeff never allowed them to have when they were at Sanji's and wrapped snuggly together in a plush quilt. On the T.V. was an old christmas special from the 70's, the one where Santa went on vacation instead of delivering gifts. It was stupid and they weren't really that interested, but they enjoyed each other's company and didn't feel like getting up to change the channel.

Zoro scooted closer; wrapping his right arm around Sanji's back and rested his hand on his side. Sanji snaked his left hand to his and laced their fingers together. It was a habit they had developed nearly a year ago by chance, and neither of them said anything about stopping, nor did they want to.

"Where are Koshiro and Kuina?" Sanji asked, resting his head on Zoro's shoulder. Zoro, in turn, rested his chin on his head, humming into his soft hair.

"They're at the dojo. The older class has a tournament coming up in a few weeks so she's training extra hard. Sensei said he trusted me not to burn the house down or get kidnapped so he let me stay home by myself."

"I'm surprised he's not worried about you getting lost inside the fridge." Sanji snickered only to laugh harder when Zoro tickled his side. "Why didn't you go? I thought you were at the same level as Kuina."

"They wouldn't let me join because I'm 'too young' and I 'have to be 13 to enter'. What complete bullshit. They're just afraid a 10 year old would kick everybody's asses. Buncha pussies." He snorted and finished the rest of his cocoa, before taking Sanji's empty mug and setting them on the coffee table. "Besides, I'd rather spend the day with you."

Sanji turned his head down to hide the blush that wasn't spread across his cheeks. "No. You just didn't want to get your ass handed to you, shitty kendoka." He smiled against the green hair's neck, insult lacking any spite.

"Oi, don't mock my sword skills and I won't call your food crap, asshole." Zoro shifted his position, sitting sidelong on the couch facing Sanji, arms wrapped around his waist.

They stared at the T.V., children all across the world saddened that they weren't getting any presents that year when Sanji spoke up. "What do you want for Christmas?"

"Hm? Oh, come on. You don't seriously believe in Santa do you?"

"No! I never believed in him. I was just wondering what you wanted."

Zoro thought about that for a few moments before shrugging. "Nothing really. Maybe some new GameBoy games, but I don't know. I don't really want stuff. Besides, I just had a birthday. Why?"

Sanji shook his head and settled back into Zoro's embrace. He didn't stay quiet for long, though, which didn't surprise Zoro. "Hey Zoro?" The other boy hummed to show he was listening and for him to continue. "I'm glad I can call you my best friend. Thanks for spending the day with me. I had fun."

Now that surprised Zoro. He looked down at the fluff of blonde hair and reached over to tilt Sanji's face up. "Me too, Sanji. Me too." was all he said before he placed a kiss on Sanji's cheek. That was another habit they had started. They didn't do it often, only a few times since Sanji had first kissed him on the playground that one time in the summer. It was something neither of them talked about, only did when the moment seemed to call for it, this time being one of them.

Zoro laid down behind Sanji, curling around his back and pulling the blonde to lean against him. They sat in silence watching the special, a little girl wrote the fat lazy vacation-taking bastard a letter and everyone started singing 'Blue Christmas'. It was so sappy and corny but neither of them minded. The end credits floating up the screen as they snored on the couch, bodies huddled together as they kept each other warm.

* * *

Thanks for reading! Stay tuned for more Growing Up ZoSan. BIRTF will be updated soon!

Sanji's outfit is from a photo I saw on tumblr. I reblogged it on 13/03/2014. BrainDeadMaggot dot tumblr dot com. If this sounded like Frozen, that was not my original intention, it just ended up that way. It's not my fault Disney took a simple commonly said sentence and turned it into a fucking cult.

Hai, dame, kuso, jama and doke: yes, no way, shit, you're annoying, and get out of my way. Useful words indeed.

They watched **_The Year Without a Santa Claus_** , a 1974 Rankin/Bass stop motion animated television special. You have never watched these Christmas Specials then I am sorry but you are not human.

Editor-in-Chief Sinn asked why Zeff would kick them while Koshiro would merely make them do chores. "Koshiro teaches martial arts, he'd be stricter than a chef."

IMO, foul language doesn't deserve physical punishment. Vulgar speech should be reprimanded spiritually. Think Spongebob and Mr. Krabbs' mom. "if you want to talk like sailors you got to work like sailors" Zeff, being a sailor himself, would just beat the sense into you. Sailors just beat each other up. Scrubbing floors won't change a sailor. That's their job. They don't give two shits.

(Written: 13/03/2014)


	2. It's Okay To Cry

13.04.2014

Back with another installment. I own nothing. Props to BTIOP and hesmus. Sorry I didn’t inform you guys _before_ I wrote this.., Thank you for your forgiveness. You guys rock!

So this is sorta late? Hard to tell with no schedule. I half wrote this whole fic within the first 2 days I thought of it but I wanted to gradually post chapters as I update BIRTF, _bu~t_ this ended up being _ALOT_ longer than I first planned, then my dad had yet _another_ surgery (he had 30 gallstones - **_had_** ), went to Manila and blah blah blah.., I explained all of this in Ch7 of BIRTF.., so yeah, I got lazy and pulled a Brook/Chopper (refer to either C500-P5 of the manga or E394-08:30 of the anime). Today we’re leaving _AGAIN_ , off to a swimming hole and staying overnight.., so I finished it all this morning before we left.., the last part isn’t beta’d..,

**[18.04.2014] beta complete**

I was initially going to post this on Brook’s BDay but I pulled a Brook so.., I’ve been sorta cosplaying the strawhats with normal clothes out of my closet, which is hard because practically everything is **BLACK**.., I don’t like wearing color -_- my wardrobe consists mostly black, white and red, and I had to borrow some of my mom’s shirts just to even _slightly_ pull it off.., it all looks like butts and I might decide to update my FB after god knows hows long and maybe I’ll upload some on DA and tumblr.., I made some tuts on some stuff but I don’t really want to post those because I’m embarrassed.., same thing with my sketches.., I have done so much since HS that everything has suffered; painting, drawing, _writing_..,

**anon-san: “this is too cute! more please! :D”** _MARRY ME!_ Seriously now, two fics with 9 chapters and this is my first and _only_ review? From an anon? I’m completely swooned but c’mon. You people read but _don’t review?_ Holy Shit! Ima cry. You assholes made me cry. TT^TT

**Stirling Phoenix: “This was just too fun to read! I'm all smiles now, thank you for sharing, and I'm looking forward to your next update!”** what’s this? a second review?! Completely out of nowhere?! _Marry me, Stirling Phoenix!_ Two reviews \\(^O^)/ C’mon! Gimme more! They complete me!

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Oda is Kami.

**Warning:** Language. The following contains some sensitive scenes that aren’t so detailed, but still there. It’s hurt/comfort with friendship and a hint of fluff, I guess. I like to add a bit of humor cuz I’m just that way no matter whatever the situation, even in RL. Which is bad cuz I always get in trouble for it. Sanji centric.

Anyway.., here’s chapter 2. Please don’t hate me for doing this.

 

* * *

** Chapter 2 - It’s Okay To Cry **

The rain poured heavily down against the windows, the early autumn sky darkened by thick rolling clouds. Sanji stared at the TV, not really watching and completely bo~red. He wanted to hang out with Zoro, but the aspiring swordsman was off training again. Zoro had lost yet another fight to his sister the day before and whined pathetically, throwing his three shinai in a tantrum as he always did when he lost and challenged her to a rematch, _again_. Sanji had been there, laughing at Zoro whenever he got hit or tripped or when Kuina knocked the bamboo sword out of his mouth, and cried praises and confessions of love to the older teen, which prompted both irritated kendokas to literally throw him out.

After their match, Sanji had tried to get Zoro to go with him to the convenience store and get some candy; he had always wanted to try Gushers. The kids at school always had candy or soda in their lunches, but Sanji and Zoro, having the strict parents they did, weren’t allowed to eat stuff like that. Zeff was such a hard ass and it pissed Sanji off to know end, so he resorted to stealing gum and other things from the chefs at the _Baratie_. At least Koshiro allowed Zoro and Kuina to have one box of commercial brand cereal each. Sanji had prodded and egged Zoro to go, but the other boy was too angry at himself to wreak havoc with his best friend, yelling over his shoulder that is the blonde wanted candy he could wait until Halloween as he shoved Sanji aside to go train alone.

The rough handling didn’t sit well with the blonde and just because he didn’t wield a sword didn’t mean he went to the dojo just for shits and giggles. The _Isshin Dojo_ taught several different arts. Sanji used his training in karate to kick a rolled up mat and sent it flying right at the other boy’s head, knocking him flat on his face, before he stomped out the door. The muscle-brained neanderthal could train until he passed out for all Sanji cared, which wouldn’t be surprising since that was actually something Zoro often did.

So, there he was, bored out of his mind, lying upside down on the couch, legs propped up on the backrest, glass of orange juice sitting on the floor and drinking it through a long twisty straw with the rain pounding loudly on the rooftop as he watched Jigglypuff draw eyepatches and moustaches on Ash and the gang’s faces. Sanji suppressed a laugh when he remembered the time Zoro had done the same thing to him when he spent the night at the green hair’s house. They fought when he awoke and ended up smashing a lamp into the drywall, which resulted in them cleaning out the garage and scrubbing the dojo’s bathrooms.

Sighing deeply, he flopped over the couch and turned the TV off. He hadn’t seen Zoro for only a day and he was already ready to hunt the boy down and force him to spend time with him. Not even cooking (he had been loitering at the _Baratie_ earlier, but Zeff had sent him home for being in the way) and locking himself in the bathroom (oh the joys of being a ten and half year old boy that discovered Hustler) could sate him long enough for the day to pass quicker. He strode over to the kitchen to make an early lunch, pulling the fridge open to inspect its contents and nearly dropped a carton of milk when the front door bust open, crashing into the table behind it and knocking picture frames over. Sanji grabbed a cast iron skillet from its hook above the island and rushed over to fend off the intruder only to freeze in his tracks at the sight before him, pan slipping from his slack fingers.

Kneeling on the hardwood floor with icy water dripping in rivulets from his green hair was a rain soaked Zoro, head down, eyes shadowed, breaths ragged and shoulders shaking vehemently.

“Marimo!” Sanji rushed over to the boy, sliding across the floor on his knees until he was kneeling beside him. “Oi Marimo, what’s wrong. What are you doing here?” Zoro didn’t answer. Water fell from his clothes and hair, but the steady flow dripping from his chin caught Sanji’s attention. Zoro’s whole body quaked and a small whine choked out of his throat.  Gripping his small hands on Zoro’s boney shoulders, Sanji steadied the shaking and pulled his friend close. “Zoro? What happened? Come on, Zoro.” Sanji was getting scared. Here Zoro was, drenched from running in the rain, eyes red and puffy. Zoro never cried, that Sanji was certain of.

The only time Sanji had ever seen Zoro shed a tear was when they had been reunited after Sanji went missing in the woods for two days during a summer camping trip by the lake. Sanji had slipped off a cliff and when he tried to get back to camp, he had only gotten himself deeper into the woods. He found a small river and berry bushes nearby but the water had made him sick and without a fire, he couldn’t cook any fish (not that he caught any) and suffered the cold nights, almost getting hypothermia. When the others had found him, he was wet, dirty and had a nasty cold. Zoro held him tight, burying his face into Sanji’s neck and cried, telling him how stupid he was and calling his friend every insult in the book. The others had told him that the green haired boy was so worried he never gave up looking, always out searching for him, even refusing to eat or sleep until Sanji returned.  It had been a terrible experience, not being able to eat for that long and when Sanji got out of the hospital for his injuries, he and Zoro read every book in the world on survival training and learned all the different ways to build fires, shelters and rafts, even going as far as learning the basics of sailing since they both loved the sea.

“-ina-”

Sanji was pulled out of the memory and looked down at the green tuft that was sticking into his nose. Zoro was saying something, but he could barely hear it.

“-uina-”

_‘Weena?’_ Sanji’s heart clenched and he reached down, lifting up Zoro’s head and looked into his bloodshot eyes. “What?”

“Kuina.” Zoro’s words were soft, barely above a whisper, but their meanings rang loud and clear in Sanji’s ears. “Kuina. She. She-” Zoro squeezed his eyes in what looked like pain. He wrapped his arms around Sanji’s waist and held him tightly. “Sanji.”

Sanji’s heart dropped into the pit of his stomach. It didn’t take much thinking to figure out what had happened, but what he couldn’t wrap his young mind around was the _why_ and the _how_. He felt his body heave and he was glad he was already on the floor, knowing his legs would have given out if he were standing. They stayed there silent for a while longer before Zoro sniffed up his snot, taking a deep breath and started slowly and clearly.

“I challenged her again last night. We fought with real swords, you know, the ones dad keeps on display.” Sanji nodded, his cheek rubbing against Zoro’s head, well aware that whatever it was had shaken Zoro enough for him to call Koshiro ‘Dad’, which he seldom does, normally calling the man ‘Sensei’. “Well, we fought and I lost. She started crying. And she yelled at me about how I’ll be bigger and stronger than her one day and would beat her. She said that because I was a boy I was going to be better than her. Not because of my skills, but because I was a _fucking BOY!_ Can you believe that shit?! I made her promise me to never give up, to keep fighting me. And when we’re older, one of us would be the greatest. The greatest god damned swordsman _in the world!_ ”

Zoro sobbed and doubled over in Sanji’s arms as he tried to control his emotions. Sanji couldn’t help but smile at his friend’s words, Zoro was always one to take things to the extreme when it came to his passions; never back down from challenges or go back on his word. Sanji could easily see Zoro fighting swordsmen from all over the world to become the best. The same could be said about himself and cooking. In the United Kingdom, there was a cooking challenge for kids but Zeff forbade him from sending in an application, saying publicized events of children competing against one another was just as barbaric as gladiators fighting to the death and he was _not_ paying for any travel and leave his restaurant with his dumbass cooks. Sanji ran his fingers through Zoro’s wet hair, coaxing the boy to continue. A chill not caused by the rain water soaking into his clothes ran down his spine as fear flowed through his small body in anticipation of what his friend will reveal.

“I went to bed and she stayed up late to train more, I guess what I said encouraged her or something. I don’t know what she did but I woke up when I heard something break, like glass or something, and my dad called me down. I thought I was in trouble for something.” Zoro’s voice got eerily quiet and Sanji braced himself for the worst. “Kuina. Sh… _She_ - _She_ _died_. _Kuina died._ She’s dead. _My sister’s dead and she’s never coming back!_ ” Zoro wailed at the top of his lungs, fighting desperately to keep fresh tears from streaming down his swollen face.

Sanji chokes out a strangled gasp, not realizing he was holding his breath. _‘Kuina’s…dead?’_

Kuina was a couple years older, already a teenager having just turned 13. She was pretty and strong and a bit scary when provoked but one of the greatest people Sanji knew. She was fun to be around, always getting it on with Zoro and fighting, but Sanji always refused to fight her whenever she challenged him. When she finally asked him why he wouldn’t fight her he had said it was because she was a girl, provoking her to throw shoes, insults and even a couple of fists at him. Sanji had a moment of weakness and snapped at her, driving the heel of his sneaker into her side and sending her flying into a barrel of _bokken._ She shot up in excitement, ready to battle the curly blonde cook, but Sanji started panicking when he realized what he did and started crying. The blue haired girl had finally given up on him then, calling him weak, a coward, a useless piece of shit that would never be able to call himself a man. That had stung a bit but who was he to defy a lady’s words?

The three of them would always train at the dojo, watch TV and play video games together. Sometimes they would head over to the _Baratie_ and watch the chefs bitch and argue. She was always such a pleasure to be around, always laughing and she had the most brightest smile he had ever seen. She was confident and had an air of authority about her that one couldn’t help but respect. He admired the teen like she was his own sister, they treated each other as much. A sudden realization hit him like a bucket of ice water, _‘Kuina’s gone. Things will never be the same without her.’_

Sanji looked down at the bawling moss ball in his trembling hands. Soon enough, Zoro had collected himself again and continued his story. After he had woken up he had found Koshiro and Kuina at the bottom of the stairs, she was face down on the floor while their father gingerly touched her. Koshiro had called the police and a “corner” or whatever that guy is called came to the house and examined her and reported that she had suffered trauma to the head. He confirmed her death, a “basil skull fracture” due to a sudden fall from the top of the stairs seven hours prior to discovery and he laid her in the back of the medical van. Two police officers had questioned Koshiro and Zoro during the examination, both men uncharacteristically calm given the circumstances, though the boy shook uncontrollably with grief and anger. The officers had decided that no foul play was involved and left. Koshiro was about to join the coroner to go to the mortuary where Kuina’s body would be prepared for her much too soon funeral when Zoro finally snapped and started screaming. He didn’t want to go to the morgue. He didn’t want to see his sister, his rival, his _best friend_ ’s lifeless body anymore. He just wanted out. He ran through the rain, sprinting down the streets and across town until he finally made it near the harbor and stood in front of the Legge household.

Sanji couldn’t believe the words. How could Kuina be dead? She was one of the strongest people he knew, she couldn’t die, could she? That something as stupid as a fall down some stairs was enough to take such a precious life away? He had fallen down the stairs a number of times before, the worst of the damage a sprained ankle, but death? What are the odds of dying from that? Choked sobs wracked through Sanji’s body, he collapsed onto Zoro’s trembling form with tears streaming down his face and they cradled each other in their small arms.

They sat on the soaked floor, the wood slightly swollen from the moisture. Sanji opened his eye and looked down at his now calm friend. He couldn’t find any words to say to comfort Zoro, so he grabbed the others face into his hands and brought it up to his, pressing their foreheads together, hoping to convey some emotion of solace in the contact. He smiled affectionately at Zoro’s face, still dry from unshed tears.

A loud guttural groaning emits from somewhere deep between them that is both equally heard and felt. Zoro tugged his head out of Sanji’s hands and quickly averted his eyes, a light blush dusting his face. A sad smile tugged at the corners of Sanji’s lips, and he wiped his tear stained cheeks before he stood, bringing the broken boy up with him.

“I’ll get you a towel and then make us some lunch.” he said softly.

Sanji made his way quickly through the bungalow, snatching an arm full of towels out of the hallway closet and a set of soft fluffy sweats from his bedroom before racing back down the stairs to the shivering boy dripping in his foyer. He dropped the clothes and half his load next to Zoro before shutting the still open front door, throwing the rest of the towels to sop up the miniature river crawling across the floor and squatted down beside his friend to help him dry off.

“ _Yamero, teme!_ ” Zoro squawked from beneath the three towels being rubbed against his hair and face, yanking them off to glare at the sheepishly smiley blonde before him before adding quietly, “I can do it myself.”

Sanji nodded his head, knowing full well Zoro was old enough to handle it himself, and headed to the kitchen to get something to eat.

He pulled open the fridge to scan its contents again. He figured he should make something that cooks quickly, and given the situation at hand, he found it best to make comfort food. Zoro’s favorite food was rice and that only took ten minutes to cook, but the problem was what to pair with it.

He dug through the crisper, _‘Maybe a stir fry? That’s fast but chopping will take some time.’_  He grabbed a hand full of tomatoes, _‘A curry would be really good right now… Kuina loved curry…’_ He put the tomatoes back and tightly gripped the drawer until his knuckles turned white. _‘Stay calm, stay calm.’_ Reaching into the back, he pushed aside a jar of Zeff’s homemade pickled chutney and found a carton of eggs. _‘Eggs…’_

Suddenly remembering his hidden treasure he grabbed the eggs, shut the fridge and scrambled into the far left cabinet under the sink, digging behind casserole dishes and colanders and pulled out an old, rarely used salad spinner. Popping the lid off, he reached in and pulled out his most prized possession. Snickering to himself he got off his knees and started taking out all the cookware and utensils he’ll need.

~GUZS~

He was flipping the browning pink slices when he heard the metallic _clank_ and low hum of the dryer. Zoro, warm and dried, sullenly entered the kitchen and propped himself up on one of the island’s barstools and watched the mini-chef in his element.

“What is that?” He sniffed, craning his neck to try and look over Sanji’s shoulder and into the frying pan. “Is that … _Spam??_ ”

“May~be. What’s it to you, _baka_?” Sanji sang mockingly, hoping his change in attitude would infect the other. He turned to look over at Zoro, a smug smile stretched across his face.

“Wh-where did you get that?” Zoro said disbelievingly. Sanji _never_ had factory made processed food in his house, Zeff always made everything from scratch. He shot his head over to the trash bin to find, yes!, an empty Spam can sitting right on top.

“Snuck it into the buggy when _jiji_ wasn’t looking. I distracted him when the check-out guy rang it up.” He proudly said, and chuckled at the green haired boy’s flabbergasted face. He was practically a fucking ninja when he planted the canned meat into that shopping cart. He did have a hard time though trying to sneak it into the house, though. Zeff didn’t want him to drag all the stuff in at one time and damage the produce but the poor blonde ninja boy couldn’t remember which bag the Spam was in, but somehow he was able to keep it hidden.

“Wow. He’s gonna have your ass when he finds out.”

“He won’t. I’ll put the can in the recycling later. Shitty old bastard won’t know the wiser.” Placing the hot spam onto a plate, he check the rice and turned it off before grabbing a paper towel to wipe the pan clean.

“That’s not how you use that, _aho_.” Zoro sighed, his friend may be stupid from not listening to their teachers; either too beautiful to pay attention to or too shitty to _want_ to pay attention to, but he had such grace and knowledge in the kitchen Zoro could help but watch in awe.

“ _Keiro_ , _kuso kenshin!_ ” Sanji retorted, cracking an egg into a bowl a little harder than necessary.

“Sometimes I wish I never taught you _nihongo._ ”

_“Shikitaganai, baka.”_

“Can’t be helped, indeed. So,” Zoro propped his elbows on the marble countertop. “Watcha making shit-cook?”

“Spam and eggs.” He whisked a bit of milk into the bowl and poured the mixture into the hot pan. “You want ketchup with yours?”

“Sure.” Zoro got up and moved over to the cabinets, pulling down plates and flatware and setting the table.

They sat together at the bar, Sanji ladeling piping hot rice onto the plates and Zoro digging into the eggs and meat. Sanji was about to ask if he wanted a knife when he saw Zoro chopping his Spam into tiny little diced piece and smashing it together with his rice and eggs.

“The hell are you doing?”

“Mixing it up, makes it easier to eat. Hand me the ketchup, will ya.” Zoro used his fork to grind up his food with such a concentrated look on his face he didn’t even bother to look up at Sanji when he spoke. Grabbing the bottle he squirted nearly half its contents onto his plate and mixed it all up until it was a bright red lump with gold and brown bits.

“There. Just like fried rice.” He said proudly.

“Way to ruin the food, assface.” Sanji scoffed, poking at his own plate.

“Did not! It all ends up the same in your stomach, anyway.” Zoro snapped, shoving a spoonful of the mutant mush into his mouth and hummed in delight. He scooped up another spoonful and shoved it into Sanji’s face. “Hewe! Twy eht.”

He was about to refuse when the spoon forced its way into his mouth. He groaned in dismay before his eyes brightened and he licked the smear of tomato off his lips.Without saying another word, he hacked away at his plate and gave the bottle a good solid squeeze.

Zoro merely gave him a knowing look and continued eating.

…

“Kuina would have liked this.” was the tentative remark.

“Y-Yeah.” came the strangled reply.

The rest of their meal was shared in a sullen silence, the only sound the clinking of silver against porcelain.

~GUZS~

Three cups of rice, a whole bottle of ketchup and more than half a carton of eggs later, the boys found themselves propped up on the couch staring at the TV, but not really watching, wrapped in a wool throw. They hadn’t spoken since they ate and the silence only allowed for dark thoughts to consume their minds.

The sounds of metal clashing against metal echoed across the warm air of the living room and brought their attention to the glowing screen. A sword collided with three blades, sparks flying as they scraped against one another. Wolverine lunged forward to strike, but the Silver Samurai teleported behind him to send a flying slice into his back.

Zoro let out a strangled sob at the scene, no doubt remembering all his fights with Kuina. He gripped hard at the knees of his pants, his knuckles instantly turning a pale white. Squeezing his eyes tightly shut, he took deep, slow breaths, desperately trying to compose himself only to sputter and gag and choke.

“Zoro!” Sanji clapped a hand on Zoro’s back before rubbing slow circles. He pulls the shaking boy into his chest. “Come on, Zoro.”

Zoro didn’t seem to register his friends soothing touch, nor his words. A violent cry tried to force its way out, but Zoro curtly held it in, biting his lip until the flesh turned raw and nearly bleed. “Hey, hey! Zoro. Look at me. It’s ok. It’s ok Zoro.”

“How can you say that?!” the young greenhead cried, ripping his face out of Sanji’s warm hands. “It’s not ok! How can it ever be ok?! _She’s dead!!_ ”

Sanji grabbed onto his chin again, pulling him close so their foreheads touched. “No. No, that’s not what I meant. Zoro, look at me.” Zoro opened his bloodshot eyes and looked into Sanji’s blue, finding not pity, but great concern and affection in them. “C’mon, man. You’re not weak. It’s ok to cry. I won’t laugh. It’s ok.”

His words dove deep into Zoro, piercing through the walls around his stubborn heart and had to steady himself when Zoro collapsed into his chest.

Heavy tears the size of bullets poured down Zoro’s face and soaked through Sanji’s sweater. Strangled cries and mumbled words were lost in the fleece, his hot breath seeped through as well, heating up Sanji’s chest as he cried into Zoro’s hair.

At first he hadn’t believed it, or rather, he _chose_ not to believe it. But now that time had let it sink in, and his best friend was weeping in his lap, it had finally dawned on him that Kuina really was gone, and she really was never coming back.

The words repeated themselves in his head over and over again. He wanted to scream, he wanted to fight and kick and lash out. The Roronoa’s were like a second family to him, losing one of them hurt him as much as it would if he lost old man Zeff. He didn’t understand, it didn’t make sense, it probably never will. But that was the truth, and it would be very hard to except.

With Kuina gone, he would no longer have an older sister figure. The one that reprimanded him when he and Zoro went and got themselves in trouble. No more squeezing into the recliner when they played video games. No more action movie marathons that got interrupted with the two kendokas sparring. No more sniping when Sanji over compliments her. No more fighting off the stupid shithead cooks that poke fun at her at the _Baratie_ when they help out in the kitchen on the weekends.

_No more walking in on the boys when they’re hiding behind the bed with a magazine between them…_ Not that that happened often, just the one time. And boy, had that been embarrassing. Sure he never wanted that to happen again, but the thought that the reason why it’ll never happen ever again hurt and made him want to burn the magazines and never see another one again.

No more sleepovers in the backyard (well, that ended after they burned the tent down, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t do it again in the future). But he guessed it did. They were never going to do anything together as a trio ever again. It was all over. Now it was just him and the marimo, not that that was bad, he loved Zoro, he was his best friend. But they were on their own now, without the older girl’s guidance, and it scared him immensely.Sanji gripped Zoro’s back harder as he held him closer to him, hoping to fill the black void that was increasingly growing in his little chest, and cried loudly, screaming into his friend’s eye while the other did the same, their bodies shaking hard against one another until exhaustion hit and they fell into a deep sleep in the other’s arms.

~GUZS~

It was already dark when the rain decided to slow, the loud downpour against the roof settled to an almost inaudible pitter patter against the shingles. A large, rotund figure with long, thin rods sticking out of his face loomed in the window as it made its way to the front door, the jingle of keys finding no give and the door swung open.

“Shitty little eggplant didn’t bother locking the door, again.” a gruff voice mumbled.

Zeff shook his umbrella before stepping over the threshold only to find him not stepping on the hard wicker doormat, but a sopping pile of white towels under his feet. His long braided mustache twitched as his eyes trailed up the white path of terry. Water was soaked all over the entryway floor; a spot of faded, swollen wood could be seen under an even large pile. Next to it a pair of small, black boots that he instantly recognized.

Shaking his head, he removed his coat and made his way to the kitchen. He was just setting down a bag of take out from his restaurant when he saw the mess. Pots and pans were piled in the sink with several red stained plates and bowls, a carton of eggs sat out on the counter, half of them empty shells. He turned to the trash can to find an empty bottle of ketchup and - _little shit_ \- an open can of _SPAM._ The bold yellow letters glared at him as he glared back.

“That brat is going to have a conversation with my plastic foot when I find him.”

He crossed into the living room to find said little brat, bundled up on the sofa and curled around another little brat, one with stupidly green hair that made him think of lettuce. He looked down at their tear stained faces, lids sticking from dried tears that had glued their eyelashes together, both sniffling in their sleep.

He couldn’t resist as he opened a drawer in the side table next to the couch, and pulled out a disposable camera and snapped a photo. _‘That’s definitely going into the books.’_ He pocketed the camera and made for the remote to cut of the infernal sound of that stupid singing cat food commercial. He went to gather the boys in his arms, but froze when he heard a small whine.

“Kuina~” the little green boy sniffled, a stray tear hanging for his black eyelashes.

Sorrow and sympathy molded onto his old weathered face as he stood, trying to balance both boys in his arms as he made his way up the stairs and into Sanji’s bedroom. A small foot connected with him stomach followed by a mumble of “kuso” and “jiji” made him look down as his stupid little son. Sanji mumbled again, something that sounded like “butt base” and Zeff’s mustache twitched irritably again. He didn’t understand the words the boy was saying but he could tell they weren’t _nice_.

He gently placed the boys onto Sanji’s boat shaped bed, tucking the fish print duvet around them. Almost immediately after he removed his hands, Zoro reached out for his friend, sobbing his name as their hands intertwined and pulled together until they were sheltered safely in each other’s arms.

Zeff made his way back down the stairs into the kitchen and picked up the cordless phone mounted on the wall. He dialed the familiar number, not even looking at the keys as muscle memory took over and only had to wait for the second ring until the person on the other end answered.

“ _Moshi moshi._ ”

“Hey, Koshiro. Your son’s here. Has been for quite some time, if the mess has anything to say for it.”

“Oh, I deeply apologize Zeff. I knew he would be there but I-” the dojo master started to say before being cut off.

“No, no. It’s fine.” he said reassuringly, hand waving around as if to fan away the unneeded explanation. “I understand. You have things to take care of. Zoro’s upstairs asleep with my brat. They already ate it seems.” -his mustache twitched again as he eyed the can in the garbage- “I’ll take him home in the morning.”

“Thank you very much, Zeff. I am very sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Alright, I shall see you. Thank you again.”

~GUZS~

~3 days later~

The funeral was nice, he guessed. Not that funerals were _nice_ to begin with. Many people, all dressed in black, had come to gather at the wake; neighbors, friends, teachers, a number of kids from school, everyone from the _Baratie_ and _Isshin Dojo_ had showed up as both businesses were closed for the day. Or rather _week._

Many had said a few words about Kuina, all thoughtful and praising. Her coffin was white with shiny gold accents, the handles and framework glittered even as the September rain poured down. The headstone was traditional japanese, a tall granite pillar in the center of other stones of granite, arranged in a way that made it look like a heavenly altar. Her name was written in both _kanji_ and roman. Visitors paying their respects hung flowers and trinkets around the marker, the freshly turned soil almost completely covered by vast amounts of flowers.

Zoro had only stayed by the open grave for a few minutes before running off to hide behind a nearby tree. He didn’t come back until they started lowering her. He was the last to leave, kneeling in front of her grave in silent prayer.

The repast was held at the dojo to accommodate the guests. The cooks from the _Baratie_ took it upon themselves to cater the event; bringing tables, chairs and enormous amounts of finely made dishes and desserts, one would think it were more for a formal gather rather than one of mourning.

Sanji picked at his new itchy suit, hoping he’ll never have to wear something so uncomfortable again, and tugged on the constricting tie as he bee lined through the crowd of people. Everyone talked among themselves about meager things, the weather, their own lives, catching up with people they haven’t seen in a while, some parents even took the opportunity to ask teachers about their child’s attendance at school and how they were faring. There were some that still cried, some that still spoke of Kuina, but even though the rest didn’t, Sanji knew they were all silently mourning the loss.

Some kids played in the dojo training rooms, trying to see if they could do what Kuina could do. The students from the dojo had claimed that they all admired Kuina’s spirit so much that they would become like her, become strong like her, become great fighters like her. This sparked a flame in the hearts of the students from school and they all started training and sparring, trying to copy Kuina’s techniques and movements. Sanji smiled. Kuina may be gone, but she will most definitely not be forgotten. He made his way through the dojo, searching for a certain shade of green, and had finally found it in an old storage closet.

“Zoro?” He looked down at his best friend. He looked worn and tired and, honestly, he looked like shit. He kneeled down beside him and gently shook his shoulder.

Zoro looked up at him with slightly glazed eyes, before looking back down at his hands. A sloshing caught Sanji’s attention and he looked to find a bottle of brandy in the boy’s grasp.

“Zoro! Where did you get that?” He tried to take the bottle away, but Zoro only pushed him aside and took another chug, a fair amount of liquid draining from the already half empty brown bottle.

“Go‘way.” he mumbled.

Sanji could only stare at him as he picked at the black cloth wrapped around his left arm and drank from his bottle. He settled down beside Zoro, resting his head on his shoulder and reached for the bottle.

“If you’re going to drink you might as well share.” The bottle came away from Zoro’s fingers easily and he took a swig from the bottle. It tasted as bad as it smelled and it burned down his throat. He couldn’t understand how Zoro had drunk so much of it already, it tasted like rotten fruit. But he continued to drink it anyway. The bottle passed between them and they sat in a long, empty silence. The now empty bottle laid forgotten on the ground along with the labeled wrapper that proved it was a new bottle that Zoro had snatched away from the catering truck where Sanji was sure it was stored. Zoro had leaned his face into Sanji’s chest, tears soaking through the layers of the itchy suit. They sat like that, fingers laced together for a long time before either of them spoke.

“Sanji?”

“Yeah, Zoro.”

“Promise me,” he started, squeezing Sanji’s hand in his. “Promise me you won’t leave me, too.”

The blonde wrapped his other arm around him, fingers threading into his stupid, yet very soft green hair and held him close.

“Of course.” Sanji whispered into his hair. He placed a light kiss on the crown before adding “I’ll always be here.”

 

**end**

 

* * *

Sanji practices karate at Koshiro’s dojo? Why? Because Koshiro’s dojo teaches all forms of Japanese martial arts (Karate, Judo, Aikido and Kendo) and Sanji can train _for free!_

**Shinai** \- bamboo practice swords. **Bokken** \- wooden katana.

Zoro meant “Coroner” and “Basilar Skull Fracture” (or Basal Skull Fracture). Many motor racers have died from a BSF. I just guessed her COD.

From what I know, an autopsy isn’t always required if the coroner has determined the COD. Then they just take the body to the mortuary for embalming. Unless the coroner or police suspect anything no autopsy is required. _I think._ Please correct me if I’m wrong.

**Sanji’s Last Name:** I wanted something that would match both him and Zeff because _Prince_ and _Black/Blackleg?_ No. So, I decided to go with Legge. It’s of English Origin. Famous Legges include 1st-7th and 10th Earls of Dartmouth, all named William Legge; George I, George III and Gerald IX Barons of Dartmouth. What I find _hilarious_ : they’re all from Dartmouth. _Dartmouth_. Dart. Mouth. Ho~ly shit! Legge immediately became my final choice. Also, ‘ ** _blackleg’_** is a disease in cattle where their flesh rots away from the inside out. I think that’s awesome, too.

**Kiero** "fuck off"  


**Shikata ga nai** "can't be helped", nothing can be done about it", "ain't nobody got time fo dat"  


**Spam + eggs + rice + ketchup = _happiness_.** I ate this _a lot_ when I was a kid. My mom always went ape shit when we (we as in _me_ ) smother it with ketchup. It’s my childhood version of bibimbop.

**Rice Topping:** I’ve eaten rice every day of my life (I’m kinda asian.) and one of the weirdest yet tastiest things I had on rice was cheese. Hand full of shredded mozzarella or Kraft Singles, slap it on a bowl of rice and pop it in the microwave. Delicious. Treat rice like a noodle and you’ll have endless possibilities. It’s great in instant ramen and chili. Breakfast today was gouda and tomatoes on rice. PS: BBQ chicken hearts and butts is _NOT_ weird. Cheese on rice _IS_.

X-Men TAS - S4 Ep13 “The Lotus and The Steel”

_~I want chicken, I want liver, meow mix meow mix please deliver~ ^o^_

According to OPwiki, Kuinadied 12 years before the current timeline, when Zoro was 9. Kuina would be 23 now if she were still alive, the same age as Tashigi, so that means she was 11 on that fateful night. Kuina’s birthday is currently unknown so I settled with her being slightly older than Tashigi (b. Oct6).

You may have noticed I added a few lines of _naughtiness_ (you read that in Freaky Fred’s voice). I wanted this to be realistic with the way boys age, so yeah.

**_Anyways, thanks for reading! More soon to come._ **

 

* * *

_Editor-in-Chief Sinn:_ _Did they seriously forget about Kuina because of **food??  
**_ **BDM: Shut up, maggot.**


	3. Practice Makes Perfect

08.06.2014

 **Syntrex:** _Why doesn't this have more reviews? This is so adorable I think I'm going to cry ;-; I shall be waiting impatiently for your next update!_

That’s what I keep saying!! REVIEW YOU FILTHY SWINE!!!  
(…) ( - ) ( ! ) I MEAN my lovely readers ^__^” hehehe

please don’t leave me TT^TT

** Disclaimer: **

I do not own One Piece. I only own a post timeskip Chopper muff, the One Piece notebook I use to write these fics in, DIY Luffy clothes and my sexy new Chopper-esque heels.

** Warnings: **

Okay.., before you say “Well that escalated quickly!” Let me just tell you right now. I had the first 5 chapters of this plotted out and ready to write since day 1.., so if it’s getting out of hand, blame my dirty filthy mind.., As you may have noticed, the first two chapters were sorta from Sanji’s POV, the this and the next one are from Zoro’s.

That is all. You may proceed.

 

* * *

** Chapter 3 - Practice Makes Perfect **

High in the sky, the afternoon sun beat down on rooftops with something no less than pure vengeance. Steam rose and stretched off the pavement, causing all to be seen ahead ripple and sway like a hazy dream. The nonexistent gas station at the corner with the giant four flavor slush machine a mere mirage of sweltering longing. Melting ice clinked together as Zoro took a drink from his condensing glass, the whirl of the air conditioning working overtime in the heat overlapping the sounds of the TV, three golden earrings chiming together as he fanned himself with a ripped off magazine cover. Not really watching, Zoro arched his neck, leaning his head against the low back of the sofa and stared blankly, mouth slightly agape as his panted to cool his lungs, at the unfocused image of the ceiling fan above him.

Lost in his heat induced summer coma, the young green haired teen doesn’t notice the front door open, nor the call of the intruder; because really, that’s all that person is. Intruding on his peace and quiet. Like he really gives three shits about having to entertain guests in the heat. Fuck them.

The couch dips beside him and a mop of golden tresses invades his blurred sight but chooses to ignore it. He realizes too late that this certain mop of blonde does not particularly enjoy being brushed off, as said blonde puts all of his sweaty mass right onto Zoro’s shoulders and chest.

“AH! Get the fuck off of me!” he yelps indignantly, trying to shove the heavy thirteen year old off of him. “Egh! Why are you so fucking sweaty?!”

“Because I came from outside, assface.” Sanji smiles sweetly to his best bud as he wipes off a thick sheet of perspiration from his forehead, and oh so lovingly wipes it onto the middle of Zoro’s white shirt.

“Ah, shit! That’s gross.” He tries to rub the sweat off of him, but only makes it seep into his shirt more, soaking against his skin. Knowing a lost cause when he sees one, he huffs a breath and whaps Sanji in the shoulder.

“Woooh~ It’s a fucking inferno out there. Ah~ this is nice.” Sanji sighs in relief as he flaps his shirt collar from his place above the air vent, chilly air skirting up his belly, across his chest and fluttering his long bangs, effectively cooling the lingering wetness on his skin.

It takes no time at all to completely cool down, almost all the sweat dried up and no longer feeling sticky, Sanji makes his way to the kitchen and grabs himself a glass. He finds a large pitcher of what looks to be sun brewed lemon iced tea and quickly chugs down his drink before topping it off again and makes his way back to the living room. He finds Zoro in the same position he was in when he entered the small home, and sets his glass down next to the half empty one on the coffee table before leaning back onto the comfy couch, stretching his legs.

They sit in long comfortable silence together, both just enjoying the escape in the nicely chilled house, neither paying attention to the overly excited field reporter on the TV. _Why was Zoro watching the news anyway?_

Suddenly remembering why he even came the moss ball’s house, Sanji jolts up, resultantly awaking the idiot from his open-eye nap - _freak -_ and flops onto the young bastard’s stomach.

“What now, fart cook?” Zoro gripes, looking down to the dopey, spaced-out faced oaf in his lap.

“Fart cook? That’s the new name you came up with?! That’s such shit!” Sanji laughs at the lame excuse of an insult, and the lame excuse of a badass right in his face. “That’s so fucking lame.”

“Whatever.” Zoro shrugs as he settles back down, twisting his hips to adjust Sanji and get more comfortable. “Was just testing it out.”

“Well, it was horrible.” the blonde sneers, snickering at the irritable glare shot at him. “Anyway, I came by to remind you that it’s Nami-swan’s birthday next week. You should come with us.”

“Not interested.” Zoro immediately shoots down the offer before his friend could even finish the invite.

“Hey, come on. It’ll be fun.” Sanji insists. He sits up and gives Zoro the most disgusting puppy dog eyes the boy had ever seen, prompting him to smash his hand into Sanji’s face and nearly topples him off his seat.

“I don’t want to go, retard. You know I don’t like Nami. Why the fuck would I want to go to her birthday.” He avoids calling the redheaded bitch any names, knowing full well how the blonde would react. Normally he wouldn’t think twice about it, but even in the cool serenity of being indoors, it was still too hot to get into a fight with the love struck idiot.

“Okay, okay. Fine. Don’t go. How about you come with us to the rink later? Luffy said his brother Ace got a really big pay from cleaning pools last week and has decided to treat all of us to ice skating and pizza.” Sanji beams a bright grin at the scowling boy, not noticing how the other’s face softens before hardening into a deeper frown and pushes him off of his lap.

“I don’t wanna go, Sanji.” Zoro says sternly, crossing his arms over his chests, ending the argument completely.

Sanji slumps against the couch shooting the stingy bastard an irritated glare before turning his attention to the TV. They watch an anchor talk about the upcoming 4th of July parade. He tunes it out and twiddles his thumbs in his lap, going over the words in his mind as he tries to bring up the _real_ reason why he came to visit Zoro.

Zoro stares blankly at the TV, half listening to the babble being drowned out by the high pitch hum of the tube and looks over to Sanji. He’s been quiet for a while now and Zoro sees why, by the anxious look on his face, teeth worrying into his bottom lip, and fingers trying to knit themselves into an elaborate braid. Slightly - _slightly_ \- concerned Zoro turns towards the other and flicks him hard in his neck.

“Oi.” _thwack!_ “What?”

“What do you mean ‘what’?! Why’d you flick me?!” Sanji hollers, rubbing at the red welt on his neck. Grass head asshole always was able to flick shit really hard. Him and his monstrous hands.

“What’s your problem? Yer acting like Zeff went to the school and yer stuck sitting outside Baskerville’s office.”

Sanji sits there twiddling his thumbs, cautiously glancing at Zoro before ultimately giving in and voices his reason.

“I… wanttoaskNamitobemygirlfriend.” He blurts.

“You what?” Zoro heard him, heard him pretty clearly, but he wasn’t going to let the crap cook waste his time by spewing nonsense. If he wants Zoro to listen to him, he has to say shit slowly and clearly. More for Zoro’s amusement than anything else. Sanji was obviously embarrassed and Zoro planned to rub it in.

“I…” Sanji pauses to take a deep calming breath before continuing with slow, confident words. “I want to ask Nami to be my girlfriend.” He stares Zoro directly in the eyes, his cool face staring back, and continues.

“I plan on kissing her at the rink and then ask her.” He watches Zoro’s face for any hints of, well, anything really. Mockery, irritation, boredom, anything. But the bastard is just staring at him with a blank, unreadable face.

“I came here… because…” He falters then, not sure how to say the words, unsure of how Zoro would react, unsure if he’s making a mistake, unsure if he’s about to do the most embarrassing thing during their long friendship. Oh god, would this affect their friendship? Would they stop hanging out if this goes horribly wrong? Shit. _Shit!_

No. No, that would never happen. It’s not like what he’s about to say is anything new. It’s not weird, and crazy and completely different from what they’ve done before. On the contrary, it’s very similar to things they’ve already done. Things they - though would never admit - enjoy. Sanji steels himself and turns back to Zoro with a steady gaze.

“I’ve never kissed anyone before.” The blonde mutters.

Zoro reacts then. His eyes narrow and his head turns a bit to the side in confusion. ‘Never kissed.’ They’ve kissed plenty of times. They’ve kissed hundreds, no, _thousands_ of times. What the hell is this idiot saying?

“Now, I know what you’re thinking,” Sanji holds up a finger to block of the retort that he knows is forming on Zoro’s tongue. “And that’s _not_ what I meant. I mean I’ve never kissed anyone before. On the _lips_.”

Zoro’s eyes widen then and his head tilts up, mouth slightly open. Sanji can practically hear the stretched ‘ohhhhh~’ coming from the idiot.

They stare at each other, expressions unchanged, Sanji still holding his finger up, stern look on his face from when he corrected the other, Zoro’s still dawned with realization. It’s a long moment and Sanji falters again, face scrunching up, ears turning red, eyes darting to and from between Zoro’s. He huffs a breath and drops his hand, shoulders and head. He looks completely defeated and Zoro isn’t sure why.

“What’s your point, cook? I haven’t kissed anyone either.”

“I… I want to kiss Nami.” Sanji confesses.

“Yeah, you said that.” Zoro bites out irritably. This shit is getting redundant and it’s stupid.

“And I don’t want it to suck.” His voice is low, like he’s telling a secret he doesn’t want to be known. He looks up Zoro who’s looking at him expectantly.

“And what do you want me to do about it?” Zoro is getting pissed. This conversation is stupid, Sanji’s problems are stupid, this summer weather is stupid and all he wants to do is take a nice cold shower and sleep.

Sanji’s head is still turned down and as looks up at his friend. Big blue eyes seeming even bigger from the angle and Zoro suddenly realizes why the boy is there. He’s asking him to…

“Wait. You what?” He’s confused. He doesn’t understand. Why? Why would Sanji…? Is this a sick joke? Is this supposed to be funny? Did Sanji find out?? Was he exploiting Zoro with this… this tease?! Why that little piece of-

“Zoro. I…” Zoro’s thoughts are cut off and looks to find Sanji’s face hidden behind his hair. “I want to… I want to practice kissing… with you…”

“Okay.”

Sanji’s head jerks up at the almost immediate answer. Zoro said yes. He was willing to help him. He couldn’t believe but he really did say it.

“Really? You will?!”

 _Shit._ Zoro’s mouth had voiced out an answer before his brain could even catch up with him. He was about to decline and say it was a joke. That he would never want to kiss the stupid ugly blonde. No less on the lips. But before he could even form the words, Sanji had pushed aside their empty glasses and sat on the edge of the coffee table across from him. Eyes wide and hopeful and expectant and even a little nervous, but excited all the same. Zoro swallowed hard at the display, Sanji sitting in front of him, waiting and ready, to kiss him. Something here wasn’t right, but Zoro didn’t really care anymore.

“Okay. How do we do this?” Sanji asks looking into Zoro’s dark brown eyes. Zoro doesn’t have an answer. How could he? He still didn’t understand why this was all happening.

Sanji scoots closer, dragging the table with him until his knees were press into the couch, one of them in between Zoro’s own. Zoro sat up and repositioned himself as well until his knees brushed against the table. They’re awfully close, Sanji’s big head blocking out the TV and pretty much everything else in Zoro’s sight. Big beautiful blue eyes stare back at him and he leans forward.

Sanji catches the motion and closes the gap, lips pressing softly while noses smashed fully against each other. The kiss is short, too short if you asked either of them, but they separate and Zoro examines the careful look on Sanji’s face.

“I didn’t like that.” Sanji says with a curt shake of his head. What the fuck is this? Some kind of retarded kiss off? Did the buttface have a clipboard somewhere to jot down notes and tally points for kisses he liked the most?? “Our noses are in the way.”

“Then tilt your fucking head, idiot.” Zoro crosses his arms over his chest and gives Sanji an unimpressed look. He didn’t like the kiss either, okay maybe he did, but he didn’t like having his nose flattened. The other teen nods his head with a short ‘hm’ of agreement, like he just decided the neanderthal had a flash of brilliance and wasn’t as stupid as the blonde made him out to be.

Sanji leans in once more, tilting his head to the side - a bit overly so - and presses his puckered lips against Zoro’s. He keeps leaning forward, pushing Zoro back a bit with the force of it and smashes his face against his. Zoro bites back a gasp of surprise by the eagerness, but couldn’t stop his lips from opening the tiniest bit and smears wetness onto Sanji’s.

Sanji pulls back and wipes the back of his hand across his mouth, shooting Zoro a glare but the green haired teen merely shrugs and points at his shirt, as if reminding him of the sweat that had once stained the front of it.

“So what was wrong with it this time?” Sanji asks, he didn’t like that kiss either, and he knew neither did Zoro. If this kept up they’d end up kissing each other all day until they finally got something even remotely decent done. The sooner they got it done the better. This was just way too awkward.

“Well other than the fact you tried to run me over like the bulldozer you are,” Sanji clicks his tongue and kicks him in the shin for that. “Ow. You don’t need to kiss like Desperate Aunt Lola visiting on Thanksgiving. That’s just weird.”

“Oh, so don’t pucker too much. Got it.” He files away that little bit of information and leans in again. Zoro meets him half way before pushing him off.

“Okay, now you’re just doing it half assed!” Zoro snaps out. Yeah puckering your lips like a cat’s butthole is fucking stupid, but just lazily kissing with limp lips wasn’t any better.

“Then why don’t you show me, Mister I’m-a-Fucking-Genius-when-it-comes-to-kissing!” Sanji yells, jabbing his finger into Zoro’s chest. Zoro didn’t want to take the lead, he knew what would happen if he did. It always ended up the same way when he would kiss his pillow or his palm, but if the jackass wants him to kiss him then so be it.

Zoro grabs onto Sanji’s face and jerks it forward. Their noses brush lightly in a gentle, soothing way as Zoro slowly leans in and presses his lips against the soft ones waiting for him. Slowly and ever so timidly he moves his mouth, flexing it as he parts them by a fraction and brings the slightest bit of Sanji’s chapped lower lip between his. He sucks on his own closed lips, making them purse and press tightly against Sanji’s. He watches the other closely, wary of the blonde’s reactions and moves his hands, one settling on Sanji’s neck, the other’s fingers combing through yellow strand, curving around an ear, thumb brushing along a soft cheekbone. He tilts his head up, bringing Sanji’s down, and uses their position to push up against the blonde, deepening the kiss. Somewhere amongst all that Sanji had rest his hands on Zoro’s upper arms and gripped onto them.

Zoro hears a low, pleased hum and he isn’t sure just exactly who it came from. His heart is beginning to pound and knows he’s getting a bit too excited. Reluctantly he backs away, hands sliding down Sanji’s body until they rest on the cook’s knees. Looking up, he finds Sanji panting hard, face tomato red, blue eyes big and shining. He’s almost afraid the boy is going to lash out at him, yell at him. Maybe he went too far with the kiss. Maybe he should have just said now.

Sanji is still very close to him, his breath comes out in hot puffs and warms Zoro’s face. He could just so easily lean forward, close those few short inches and claim those lips again. But he won’t. Not until he knows how the other is reacting to it all.

“Whoa.” He looks up again and Sanji’s expression is one of awe. There’s the smallest hint of a smile curving up on his lips and it grows as he continues to speak. “That… That was good. Fuck, that was _great!_ How did you do that?!” He pants out. He can’t believe that Zoro was such a good kisser. Did the swordsman just say he never kissed anyone before? How was he so good?!

Zoro blushes at the compliment. He didn’t think he was that good, and it was just a simple press of lips. It wasn’t like anything they’ve seen in thosE movies where people try to eat each others face and suck their tongues out of their throats.

“I… I just did what I thought I’d like.” And that was the truth. He just let his own desires take over, didn’t over think the process, didn’t over think where to put his hands, how hard to press forward. He just did what he thought felt good.

“Well it was great.” Sanji says breathlessly. Zoro blushed even harder, if that were possible. His neck and chest were heating up and he could only guess how bad he looked. Sanji doesn’t seem to notice, or care, even though he’s looking right at him. The blonde is focused on the great feeling of the kiss and how he could use those moves on his one.

Taking a chance, Zoro looks up and says something he knows he’s going to regret later.

“Okay. Now you try.”

Sanji looks up with big gleeful eyes. Had the mossy ape read his thoughts? “Yeah?” Zoro nods and Sanji’s smile broadens. “Okay.”

Sanji leans in, he does something different and places one hand on Zoro’s thigh, the other on his shoulder. Tilting his head only a bit, he lets their noses brush together and oh yeah, they both like that. Sanji nods his head, nuzzling against Zoro causing him to let out a slow soft breath through his nose that could almost be classified as a silent moan, but it goes unnoticed by the young master chef as he presses their mouths together.

Sanji is very skilled in many different things, always has been. He’s a great fighter, and excellent cook, and he’s really smart too. He proves his quick learning skills in the kiss, brushing theirs together in a way that sends a shiver down Zoro’s neck, nipping so lightly on his lips that he’s not even sure if Sanji’s is really even doing it. Sanji’s hand moves up his arm and ventures to his neck, brushing the flushed skin and knocking against the earrings, making them chime lightly in their ears.

Zoro moves his hands to the coffee table and grips hard. He wants to touch the blonde, he wants to wrap his arms around him and pull him close. He knows he shouldn’t be worried about something as trivial as a hug. They’ve done it hundreds of times. They’ve cuddled on the couch while playing video games, held each other tightly when they slept in the same bed. They are best friends and completely comfortable with each other.

But to touch him while they kissed? It just seemed too intimate. They had just hit adolescence and were starting to develop feelings for, well, everything. Hell, sometimes even the toaster looked good. They were starting to understand things about their bodies and he doesn’t want to ruin everything, or nothing at all, by crossing a line he doesn’t even know whether or not is there. He doesn’t even know if these feelings he had for Sanji were real. All he knows is that this kiss is fucking amazing, it’s blowing his mind and he just wants to grab onto his best fucking friend in the whole fucking world and just ravish him.

But he doesn’t. He just sits there as calmly as he can, his murderous grip on the coffee table betraying his coolness, and returns the kiss as lamely as he can. He doesn’t want to over do it. He doesn’t want to scare Sanji off. He just wants him to stay and not go to the rink with the others and walk up to Nami and-

And he remembers. Why. Why Sanji is kissing him in the first place. He stops moving, just waits, and as quickly as it started, their short 4 second kiss is over.

Sanji looks at him with the biggest fucking smile he has ever seen him wear. It’s gorgeous and it riles him up. Zoro’s heart is still pounding and his nerves feel like they’re on fire. He wants Sanji to stay and by whatever god he doesn’t believe in he’s going to at least try.

Sanji laughs and takes a deep breath. “Wow, that was fantastic, if I do say so myself.” He’s completely smug and proud of himself and Zoro takes a chance.

“Yeah… Sanji?” Sanji turns to him with happy curious eyes. “Can… Can we do that again?”

Sanji’s smile drops, he hadn’t been expecting that. He watches Zoro closely before a gentle smile raises on the corners of his mouth. “Yeah. Let’s do that.”

Zoro can’t believe it. He fidgets in his seat and scoots closer. Sanji is willing to kiss him again and fuck it all, Zoro is going to claim those lips and he _will_ get a _taste_ of Sanji. He _will_ make this the best kiss the blonde will ever have, ever _want._ Zoro leans in, tilts his head up and closes his eyes, he can feel the warmth radiating off of Sanji and he takes a deep breath in and holds it. When that mouth touches his, he’s going to moan and sigh and make it known just how much he wants the other teen. He’s going to kiss him just like in the movies, as stupid as that sounds and the thought alone makes his pants just a little bit too tight.

Sanji is right there, _right fucking there_ , when a high pitch beep pings loudly in his ear. The hand that made its way onto his shoulder jerks off and Sanji backs away.

“Oh shit!” Sanji looks at his watch and scowls at the time. “It’s already three! I’m gonna be late!” He vaults over the table and runs away from Zoro towards the door. “Zoro, you sure you don’t want to come.”

Zoro stares at the retreating form with a look on his face that says someone had just smacked him in the face with his pet hamster’s dead body. He looks down at his hands and squeezes them into tight fists. So close, he was so close. Sanji was right _there._ And he slipped right through his grasp. He slumps against the couch, hands going limp at his hands, face devoid of all emotion and just sits there staring at the wall.

Sanji’s face comes back into view with a look of concern staring back at his blank one. “Zoro?”

“No. I’ll just stay here.” His voice is so monotonous it almost sounds like it belongs to an extremely bored robot.

Sanji’s curly brows - _oh god how Zoro loved those brows -_ furrowed deeply as he set the jacket Zoro didn’t even know he had left at the door and sat back down on the coffee table.

“Ya know Zoro,” he starts out. He doesn’t sound angry, or cocky, or even as-a-matter-of-factly. He just sounds… _there_ , if that makes sense. “I know you were never very social before.” Oh, now Zoro recognizes that tone. It’s the I-Pity-You-But-Won’t-Admit-It tone. _Here we go again._

“Zoro, listen to me.” Zoro looks at the stupid cook unimpressed. He really didn’t want to talk about this again. Well, not that there ever did. Zoro always ended the conversation before it even started. But it looks like this time Sanji is finally going to get to say whatever he wants to say whether Zoro liked it or not.

“Zoro. I know you were never very social.” he repeats. “but you’ve really been distancing yourself from everyone since the accident.” Sanji holds up his hand to stop whatever smart mouth retort the idiot was going to make and levels him with a stern, yet soft, glare.

“They’re your friends too, Zoro.” Zoro ignores this and turns to stare out the window. It had been a while since he had been with all his friends, he just didn’t feel like ever going out. He feels the couch dip and Sanji wraps his arms around him. Zoro is taken aback, wondering why the blonde is holding him, not that he minds. He’s always enjoyed Sanji’s company.

"I know you, it may not help but she's in a happy place now." Sanji mumbles into his neck, lightly twirling the ends of the black bandana Zoro always had wrapped around his left arm between his fingers. If the comment hadn't been so absurd, Zoro might have melted into the touch.

“Psht!” He scoffs, “Don't give me that bullshit, Cook.”

“I know you don’t believe,” Sanji sits up and hold Zoro face in his hand. “but I choose to have faith. I choose to believe that she’s somewhere up there, floating on clouds, looking more beautiful than ever…” - Zoro just rolls his eyes at the idiot’s original description of heaven - “... and kicking Bruce Lee’s ass.”

Zoro tried, he really did, but there was nothing he could do to stop the laugh that bubbled in his belly and escaped his lips. Sanji always knew how to make Zoro smile. Zoro returns the hug, firmly holding onto his friends waist before releasing him, letting Sanji straighten up.

“I’ll just stay home today. You go have fun.” He says quietly, though he’d rather the blonde stay there.

“It’d be more fun with you.” Sanji stands and turns his back to Zoro, picking up his jacket and never seeing the flustered expression that flashes across Zoro’s face. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah.” Zoro answers weakly. Sanji leans over him one last time, a soft press of lips to his forehead and he inhales deeply the scent of Zoro’s hair. Sanji walks out the door, never casting Zoro a second glance and the lock clicks softly behind him.

Zoro sits on the couch, staring at the melting ice on the table, so lost in his own thoughts he doesn’t hear the sound of the refrigerator door closing followed by soft retreating footsteps.

GUZS

Zoro’s on the bed laying on his belly digging through his gym bag that was kicked underneath the furniture when his bedroom door is abruptly kicked open and a tense, _uninvited_ blonde headed prick marches into his sacred space, drops onto his bed, stupid, obnoxious studded belt digging into the back of Zoro’s knees and buries his stupid, ugly, curly face into Zoro’s pillow. Groaning in pain as he tried to wrestle his legs out from under the bastard, Zoro finally gets free and sits up. Stupid invading curly alien disrupting his peace, asshole curls around his hips, pillow bound face nudging against his thigh.

“You’re back early.” Zoro pokes at Sanji’s neck playfully. He’s back really early actually. It’s not even 5 o’clock yet according to the alarm clock on his dresser. But was that thing ever really accurate. “What are you doing here curly?”

Sanji fidgets against him, whether to shut Zoro up or him just being the stupid asshole he his. Man, Zoro is being really hateful right now. Zoro glares down at the blonde and almost misses the asshat’s stupid muffled whiny voice, the words vibrating through the pillow and into his leg.

“Shmee mates me.”

Zoro rolls his eyes and leans down, pushing the pillow away from the blonde’s mouth. “Who da wuh?”

“She hates me.” Sanji repeats. There’s a mournful tone in his voice and the bastard has no right to come crawling to him in his pathetic time of patheticness, that Zoro can’t help but make fun of the idiot.

“I am unsure of whom you speak of.” Zoro voices most intelligently. “‘She’ can be almost anyone. For instance, Carmen hates you.” Zoro starts counting out on his fingers as he speaks. “Perona hates you. Jessica hates you. Hancock _really_ hates you. I’m pretty sure your mother hates you as well-”

A knee strikes the back of his head, cutting off the rest of his list of Women Who Hate Curly Cook. Zoro turns to find a smirking face, half hidden behind messy yellow hair and wipes it completely off with his rough calloused palm.

“Ah! Stop!” Sanji sits up and shoves the smirking brute off of him. “Like your mother loves _you_ so much, fucker.” Ah, mothers. Something they both shared a lacking of. Not like it mattered. Their adopted fathers did just a fine job raising them.

Zoro simply hums, not really caring. They could go into yo momma jokes all day and never know if any of them were true or not. “So who hates you now, Love Cook?”

Sanji’s face drops again and stares forlornly at his hands. “Nami…”

“What did you do this time, idiot?” Zoro bemoans and rolls his eyes again. What the hell did Sanji see in that bitch. She’s so stuck up and naggy. She tricks people into doing things for her for free yet charges per answer on exams and even though Zoro rarely asked for favors she already has a list of debts Zoro owes her. Bitch kept adding interest. He really wishes she would just move and go away. One year without her until she gets to junior high isn’t enough.

“I tried to kiss her.” Zoro gives him an expectant look, even though he really didn’t need Sanji to continue. He already knows what happened. “But she shoved me away and called me a sicko.” Sanji’s form shrank with every word until he was bent forward and rested his head in Zoro’s lap.

Zoro chuckles at the dumbass and puts a reassuring hand on the small of Sanji’s back, rubbing soothing circles. “Oh Sanji. Didn’t you know?” Curiosity makes Sanji look up at Zoro’s happy smiling face. “You’re a disgusting piece of shit and I wouldn’t go near you with a ten foot pole.”

“FUCK YOU!!” Sanji shoves him away and leans against the headboard, pillow clutched in his lap. “But you know. I think I know why she doesn’t like me. It’s pretty obvious that she has a crush on Luffy.”

“But that idiot has no freakin’ clue because he was more than likely making out with Don Accino’s famous pepperoni twists.” Zoro fills in. Neither of them could blame Luffy. Lovely Land’s pizza was one of the best pizza places in town. It being an ice rink only made the piping hot pies more delicious.

“Yeah.” He agrees with a laugh. “But it’s not just her, it’s all of them. All of the girls.” Sanji sighs and flops onto his side, his bulky belt buckle digging sharply into his hipbones and he pulls it off  and throws it across the room, all the while kicking at Zoro’s knees like he so rightfully deserved.

“All of the girls like Luffy?”

“No idiot! All the girls don’t like _me_. I dono what it is but whatever.” Sanji rolls onto his back and pulls a pack of Pall Malls out of his pocket, sticking a cigarette into his mouth but doesn’t light it. He knows not to smoke in Zoro’s house. “I think I’m done with girls. Maybe I’ll have better luck when I’m older.”

“Hey…” Zoro turns fully to him with an expression of deep concern that freaks Sanji out. “Since when did a pervert like you give up?”

“I am not a pervert!”

“Dude, I’ve known you for what? 6? 7 years? You’re the biggest pervert I know.” He points a finger at Sanji’s face, stopping the retort. “And don’t make me remind you why.”

“Don’t say it.” Sanji grinds out. Zoro doesn’t, only a cheeky smirk graces his lips and the blonde just leans back and crosses his arms. “Hmp whatever. You’re just as bad.”

“Maybe,” Zoro confesses, Sanji doesn’t realize how true that statement is. “But I’m not obvious like you.” He grins evilly.

“Don’t you dare bring that up!” Sanji jumps onto his knees and shakes a threatening fist at the green ape.

“I didn’t say anything.” Zoro holds up his hands in surrender.

“I know what you’re thinking!!” Sanji stands up on the bed and raises an even more threatening leg.

“I’m not!” He swears, but the shit eating grin betrays him. “I’m not thinking about the time you got a hard on during an assembly when vice principal Kalifa fell off the stage and gave everyone a panty shot.”

“YOU BASTARD!” And with that Sanji leaps into the air and tackles the shit fucking asshole he calls his best friend to the floor. Screams fill the small room as pinches were exchanged, twitching fingers dug into ribs and hair was pulled. They roll across the floor in an endless battle for dominance, but thanks to his leg strength, Sanji came out on top, straddling Zoro’s while his knuckles grind roughly into the grassy lawn sprouting out the bastard’s skull.

Zoro’s hands slowly move down his back and slip into the waistband of Sanji’s now loosened pants. Both teens freeze.

“Give me a wedgie and I _swear_ I’ll kick you out that window.” The blonde seethes out. Zoro smirks at him as his hands go lower into his pants, palming his ass through his underwear causing Sanji to blush. Hard. A shiver rolls up Sanji’s spine, and he curses his young overactive hormones as he gets excited by the touch. Zoro’s hand move deeper, truly he wishes he could make use of his hands in other ways but this opportunity would never present itself again so he takes his chance.

Sanji is staring at him wide eyed and Zoro gives him a feral predatory grin as his hands snap onto the hem around Sanji’s thighs.

“Don’t you fucking dar-AHH!” His warning falls on deaf ears as a wail cuts him off and Zoro pulls up hard, the fabric harshly rubbing against Sanji’s tender flesh.

“FUUUUUUUCK!! Aahh SHIT! My nuts! My Fucking Nuts! Oh my fucking god! You Shit Eating _FUCKER_!” With emphasis to the last word, Sanji raises a fist and slams into down onto the laughing bastard’s crotch.

“Aaaahhh! Fuck!” Both boys clutch desperate at their scrambled eggs, crying and moaning in agony.

“I hate you.” Zoro whines out.

“I hate you more!” Sanji spits.

Punches and kick are thrown once more until they tire out and lay sprawled out on floor laughing with their foreheads pressing together, one hand tangled in a death grip in the other’s hair, the other hand trying to readjust their own balls.

Sitting up Zoro looks over his shoulder to watch Sanji twist and arch his back off the floor as he tries to pry his twisted briefs out of his ass. “Hey, you wanna watch Celebrity Deathmatch?”

“Hell yes!”

GUZS

They’re curled up on the couch, laughing obnoxiously as Nick Diamond walks out onto the stage wearing a pink dress and heels. Johnny Gomez is indeed correct. That _is_ a nice rack. Next to him, Zoro heard Sanji make a pleased ‘hmp’ sound. Like he had an epiphany and was completely okay with it.

“What?”

Sanji shakes his head, dismissing the question and settles deeply against Zoro’s side. His hand slowly slides into the oaf’s and laces their fingers together. Zoro looks down at their joined hands then to Sanji who’s watching intently at the screen, completely ignoring him. Zoro turns back to find Pat Sajak punching Alex Trebek in the teeth and snickers. This show was always stupidly entertaining. He feels the grip on his hand tighten as Sanji nudges his head against his shoulder.

“Who needs girls when I got you?”

**end**

 

* * *

**I ad-lib too much!! This doubled in length!** It got out of hand and I’m not entirely sure if I like this.

The beginning got dragged along too much.., Kalifa wasn’t there either until a month ago.., the fight, however, went exactly as planned and I am very pleased with it..,

I also originally didn’t plan for Zoro to be so eager to kiss Sanji (I was going to keep all of those emotions unknown to you all) or so skilled but, oh well.., there’s nothing better than kissing the heel of your palm (except real lips.., and a neck.., oooh behind the ear~) so I made it that he makes out alone a lot..,

Even at 15, Ace is such a sexy little deviant.., cleaning pools so he can watch all the MILFs suntan and shit.., it’s Stacy’s Mom all over again..,

Nami’s birthday is 3 July, so if they were all American, Nami’s birthday would be pretty badass.., the day after the party would be nothing but barbecues, fireworks, parades.., that’s great timing in my opinion..,

I needed a principal for their school so I went to OPwikia and hit random page. Principal Baskerville it was..,

Sanji was doing duck lips.., cuz he’s a duck.., he’s an adorable duck, so I’ll forgive him..,

There’s a hungry ghost in Zoro’s house, rummaging through his fridge, eating his cheese.., **_hide yo cheese, hide yo wine.., sophisticated ghost climbin’ in yo windows, snatching yo peanut butter up_**

Celebrity Deathmatch Episode: Cable Day - Season 2 Episode 9 Round 3

These two have gotten quite … _nau~ghty…_ (you just read that in Freaky Fred’s voice). As I’ve said, I want this to be realistic with how guys mature… (insert endless babble) ...ok _too much info~!_ Anyway, back to my point. I’m thinking of posting a new fic as a side story to this. Full of smutty things that boys do (that Zoro and Sanji do). I think you get the idea. It will be rated ‘M’, if I decide to write it. I’m not all that confident in the idea, though, so if you all want some preteen experimentation let me know, aight? It probably won’t be up until BIRTF is finished, if I decide to go through with it. If I do I am also include the camping trip, Kuina’s fall, the talk Zoro and Koshiro had during this chapter (surprise!) and maybe my version of Sanji’s accident on the playground as mentioned by BecauseThereIsOnePiece.

Thanks for reading! BIRTF will be updated soon! _*maybe*_ Stay tuned for more GUZS.

Planned post date: 27/03/2014 (late by 2.5 months)

 

* * *

**_EiC Sinn:_ ** _Is she gone? Good. Hi there folks! I’m Sinn, but you can call me Professor Wittmeyer if you’d like. As I have apparently gotten my PhD in “Why the fuck I am beta’ing so much gay porn for my girlfriend, I have no fucking clue”. Anyways, I have dropped by to remind you all that: “WAIST” is the part of your body between your abdomen and your hips. Not “WASTE”. Remember Writers, it’s “wrapping his arms around his middle” not “his shit”. That’s just sick. That is all. Go Spurs!!!_

_(... I just used a gay writing example. -____- no more yaoi please)_


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